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October 25, 2004

SORE THUMBS #100

Posted By Chris Crosby at 2:29 AM

Today is SORE THUMBS #100 (not counting the six original pages from SORE THUMBS ELECTION SPECIAL). And it's our first Mary Cheney reference. First of many, I assume.

Hooray for numeric milestones and Vice Presidential lesbian daughters!

October 18, 2004

Child's Play 2004

Posted By Chris Crosby at 1:50 AM

PENNY ARCADE's "Child Play" program launches up again today, according to Tycho. It's well worth your involvement, particularly if you're into doing good things for the human spirit and stuff like that.

UPDATE: Here's the official site: http://www.childsplaycharity.org.

October 17, 2004

Without a Doubt...

Posted By Chris Crosby at 4:32 PM

...this is one of the scariest articles ever written.

October 15, 2004

(Not that there's anything wrong with that.)

Posted By Chris Crosby at 3:12 PM

BUSH IS GAY.

October 13, 2004

Cheerleader-In-Chief

Posted By Chris Crosby at 2:36 AM

Leno asked Edwards if he could beat the president in a foot race.

Edwards, who said he jogged about five miles Tuesday, reminded the audience he played football as a student. Bush, he noted, was on a cheering squad.

Bush "was on the side, with his pompoms," the North Carolina senator said. "I don't know, can you run fast with those cheerleading outfits on?"

October 8, 2004

Who was feeding him his lines? [insert name of incredibly stupid person here]?

Posted By Chris Crosby at 2:23 PM

Reader Jeremy Walker alerts me to this interesting Salon article (get a Day Pass to read it, it's fast and easy) providing ample evidence that Bush might've been fed lines through an earpiece during the first debate. (Yes, Bush is even STUPIDER that THAT normally. Brrr...)

Don't forget to look for the bulge on his back during tonight's debate!

October 7, 2004

Cheney on "most Tuesdays"

Posted By Chris Crosby at 2:07 PM

Everybody's focused on the "Cheney never met Edwards" lie from Tuesday's debate, but I thought the bigger and more important lie Cheney told was said right before that: "Now, in my capacity as vice president, I am the president of Senate, the presiding officer. I'm up in the Senate most Tuesdays when they're in session."

Yet a record of the Senate's Acting Presidents since 2001 shows that Cheney presided over the Senate only TWO times the past four years, not "most Tuesdays"... and two just happens to be the same number of times that Senator John Edwards has also presided over the Senate. Cheney's been "AWOL" from his job as Senate President for most of his term!

(In the Senate, if the VP isn't there, they appoint an Acting President as their first order of business. Which means Cheney's only showed up at all twice.)

Two lies in the same breath, just to get a zinger against Edwards in a VP debate that historically means very little in terms of who will win the election. Jesus, Cheney SUCKS.

October 1, 2004

Saturday Night Live Strategery

Posted By Chris Crosby at 7:34 PM

There's a new episode of SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE tomorrow. They're bound to do a sketch parodying the big first debate.

A lot of people have said that the hilarious and famous 2000 SNL debate sketch helped to Bush win the election. They made Gore look like a boring doofus and Bush look like a lovable doofus. They also made Gore look signifigantly shorter than Bush (as Darrell Hammond is to Will Farrell) even though they're both about the same height in real life.

Here's how they redeem themselves in this election... I assume Kerry will again be played by Seth Meyers, who I don't think is nearly as tall as Kerry. To make up for that, they need a NEW actor to play Bush. Who?

I suggest they cast a MIDGET. An ugly, constantly-blinking midget who has a lot of trouble speaking words. It would be perfect.

Do good, SNL. Do good. Ugly Midget Bush in '04.

"The enemy attacked us, Jim..."

Posted By Chris Crosby at 11:22 AM

Is it just me, or does Bush look more like a computer-generated character than a man, particularly in this clip? His eyes look like they're SHINY BLACK BUTTONS instead of normal human eyes. He looks like an ILM-created alien plucked right out of STAR WARS: EPISODE III - REVENGE OF THE SITH and made flesh in the real world, ala Russell Crowe's character in VIRTUOSITY, only scarier.